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At their best, relationships bring out the best in us, however, there are times when they are the root cause for us needing self help advice. Self esteem issues are often directly tied to the relationships that we are in. It really doesn't matter whether you are dating, married, or just in love, relationships can either make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We work hard to find the one who will love us and make us feel like we are on top of the world, unfortunately that doesn't always happen.
Many will try to find out if the reason for the difficulties in your relationships is due to problems between you and your partner or is it because of problems that originated early on in your life or the other persons life. While it can be difficult trying to find the original root of your problems there is one thing that is obvious - you have problems now.
The best thing to do is to try and fix the relationship that you're in now so that you and your spouse or partner can help overcome your challenges. Maybe you're interested in reading self help books and to make use of different self help techniques. If your relationship is strong you will find that you have a partner to help you overcome your issues. First, though, you need to work on building the relationship. Seek out some good marriage counselors or others who can give good relationship advice.
One thing that is going to help is to never allow yourself to be criticized, or at least don't internalize it. Also make sure you don't criticize the one you love. There is no such thing as constructive criticism - there is nothing constructive about it. All it does is make one feel less powerful than the other and it is used to manipulate much in the same way an abuser does. A relationship is not a power struggle and it is not a war, so stop treating it like that and there won't be any fights to win or lose.
There are some more things that you can do to help your relationship. Where you are separated by beliefs, try talking it out and instead of pointing out where each other is wrong or where their weaknesses are try to find common ground. Take the time to discuss what each other's roles are in the relationship. Also discuss your expectations for each other. Let your partner know what hurts but also let them know what it is you want or need them to do and try to offer the same to them.
Whether you're dating or involved in a marriage there are many things you can do to help make your situation better. Once you have both worked at repairing your relationship and put away talk of divorce, separation, or just breaking up, you are then free to work together to make each other better people. Your relationship will help you help your "self image" and will help you overcome all those things that hold you back.
Good Luck!
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